He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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