she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
