Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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