He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
