ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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