Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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