I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
