i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
