I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
