don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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