i think my tv is drunk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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