I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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