Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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