Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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