white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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