I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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