i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
