New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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