me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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