can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
