The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
one might say we're banned from that church
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
