yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
