so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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