A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
