Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
