Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
