he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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