No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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