loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
