The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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