Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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