i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
