Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
