I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
