Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
