what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
