if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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