it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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