he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
