Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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