No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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