um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
