no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Why is your signature on my underwear?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
