I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
