God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we're making bets on your personal life
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
