yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
