we made out on top of his cat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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