omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
