Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
