I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
