If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
