weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
