i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
